Sunday, July 01, 2007

One Turkish Woman

















I want to paint a picture for you of one Turkish woman’s life, a close friend I love very much. She invited me to dinner tonight (Inegol kofte), and as they have very little money, it was a real treat. Here is what I know about her:
• Her family is from a village near Our Anatolian City.
• She did well in school and entered university in an engineering faculty, but after one year her father did not want her to continue, so she left and got married. She regrets it.
• She does not wear a headscarf.
• My friend has two children. Her son is now trying to get into university, but only one in five or six students who enter the entrance exam will get a place. As a fall-back he is in technical school to repair airplanes. Her daughter will attend dershane next year. This night school costs about $1500 a year, very difficult for the family to afford, but necessary if the teen wants to pass her eighth year exam to continue toward university.
• My friend stays at home because she cannot find work.
• She would like to be a writer and has in fact published one children’s book through a newspaper competition.
• She must, with her sisters, take care of her handicapped brother, her parents, and her mother-in-law. Her family problems exhaust her.
• They used to have a car, but they had to sell it.
• I have seen my friend’s husband forbid her to go out socially because he did not want to go with her.
• She does not drink or smoke.
• She does not know how to swim.
• She does not have access to the Internet.
• My friend has never been out of Turkey. She says she is unlucky.
I think my friendship with this generous and intelligent woman has in some ways hurt her, because she knows now more of what she can probably never have. I wish I could help make her life easier.

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