Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Edge of Heaven

Just saw this Turkish/German film. The director, Fatih Akin, also made “Head On,” one of the best movies I’ve seen in the last few years.
“The Edge of Heaven” follows a multitude of characters whose lives are intertwined between Istanbul and Bremen. A bit slow, but worth seeing, it’s about the connection between parents and children, how careless we are about basic communication, and how tragic misunderstandings can develop.
And it made me so homesick for Turkey, for the food and raki, the beautiful sad people, the language, and the endless dry landscape. It made me feel Turkey is my home, not here. (The characters living in Germany also feel the pull of Anatolia.)
Plus it’s really cool to hear Turkish, German and English used interchangeably.

I returned from Turkey one year ago. These are my last photos from that year abroad as a Fulbright Scholar: in Munich eating typical German, and in my Anatolian City, which is called Eskisehir. I wish there was a way to get back to Turkey, but it's not possible now. So I'll just dream, while I live here in SoCal, a paradise I take for granted.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bitch Out

• A student basically dissed me today when I tried to help him.
• I got sent home from a lunch meeting because I had a kid with me.
• Arnold is threatening to cut pay for State workers, possibly including me, to minimum wage.
• I nearly faint every time I fill my gas tank. And fall semester hasn’t even started.
• Some are reading this blog for truthful information. I AM A DOLL!
• I deparately need pizza, the thickest and greasiest possible.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Explosion for Real

Yesterday there was a double bombing in Istanbul. First one drew the crowds, second one was deadly.
The place was a residential neighborhood. Please don’t think this is normal for Turkey—this is like a bomb going off in Glendale.
So far, the people suspect the PKK (Kurdish Separatists), but doesn’t seem right. Maybe extremists are trying to destabilize the political situation in Turkey, because there is a legal movement to recall the democratically elected, although religious, AK Party government.

sorry about multiple videos, there was a commercial that snuck its way into the embedding... now can't get it out, and I'm too tired to redo this post...

Friday, July 25, 2008


I am at a complete loss.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Sensitive Child

02: Mama, where would you live if you didn’t have a house?
K: Well, I supposed you’d be homeless.
02: But what if you had a car?
K: You could live in your car.
02: That’s what I was thinking. But what if you were a rich hobo?
K: You could live in a motel?
02: No, you could buy a house. Then you’d be a hobo in a house.

This is what concerns my little one on the eve of his seventh birthday.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Und so...

Should I go out and buy some slutty Bratz clothes before my new big sister imposes her fashion sense on me?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Mattel Won the 1st Round

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Summer Garden

Tomatoes, of course. Also cucumbers, onions, chard, strawberries, chilis, herbs. Arugula seeded on its own, I’m psyched.
Best thing, however, is the compost I cooked. Rich black soil from a smelly mess of kitchen scraps and dried bougainvillea flowers. It can almost be eaten with a large spoon.

Friday, July 18, 2008

You. Must. Read. This.

She’s my friend, she’s Turkish. English is not her first or possibly even second language. But she writes AMAZING. Plus she lives in an incredible wooden Armenian house in one of the most picturesque neighborhoods of Istanbul, she’s an artist, designer, but above all, she’s smart. Very smart.
Elif, seni seviyorum.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Greek Paintings: Not Appropriation, but Maybe Easy

This funny appropriation of Rodin’s “Thinker” is by Nathan Mabry. It’s called Process Art: Dead Men Don’t Make Sculpture (2008). It’s installed with the figure’s back to the street, silly in itself, but the punch-line is when you come around and find the Halloween mask, in bronze, on his face. Kloe likes it.
Appropriation is a hard concept for students to grasp, especially when we teachers punish plagiarism in writing so harshly. I’ve been referencing Greek sculpture in my new paintings, not appropriating. Hopefully making something new that evokes the sensuality of the original marbles, but using white paint. A friend told me this work needs more edge, and I realized it’s a bit tame, but my last series was so risky I can’t even show it (that’s why I haven’t talked about it on this blog, or posted it on Art of Kloe). So maybe I need to take it easy and play safe for a while.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Did you try to buy one this weekend?
A friend of mine did, I dropped her off at 8:30am to stand in line with about 1000 other people at the Mac Store. The line wove through the mall out to the parking lot. Some had arrived at midnight the night before, only to be chased out by security. A guy we talked to spent a few hours at Denny’s and then returned at 4:30am for the opening at 8am. A few people paid several hundred dollars to take someone's place near the head of the line.
AT&T was totally overwhelmed, as this scene was probably played out all over the country. So is there a need out there for this phone, or was this just brilliant marketing on the part of Apple? Seemed like an awful lot of smart, hip people standing in line for hours in the hot sun to get this toy.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Virginity Lost

Today I fell for the first time. Skating, I mean. Luckily I was wearing wrist guards, or I’d be messed up. Haven’t had a raspberry since I was a kid. I guess I had gotten a bit cocky.
Am enjoying another month in a studio. What a luxury, to have space to paint. Yesterday the place was hopping, artists in and out, a casting call for an online video in the photo studio, people walking through. Both distracting and what you want from such a place. But the rent is just too high.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Neon Poem

Love & die
Fall & live
Suck & die
Play & live
Hate & die
Touch & die
Hear & live
Run & live
Fuck & live
Laugh & die
(Bruce Nauman at MCASD--Brilliant show, very male, wicked funny.)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

What’s Up in Turkey?

Oh dear, am getting sort of ominous emails from my friends in Turkey that things are not good. They all sound worried about the political situation, which seems to be disintegrating.
And today there was an attack on the US Consulate in Istanbul.

Monday, July 07, 2008


I’ve lost the thread of this blog a bit. Does that mean I’ve lost the design of my own life?
I want to talk about how hard it is to get my work out there, the age-old problem of the artist. I am so frustrated at my lack of success. I work, I paint, I teach, and yet I have no tenured job, I rarely show, I never sell my work outside of my gallery in Turkey. I am almost always rejected from shows I enter.
In the past artists had patronage, an aristocrat or the Church. My patrons, my fallback, has been my parents. But it makes me feel like a failure, that in my mid 40s I cannot support myself; that I’m extremely accomplished, but can’t make it.
I’ve decided to rent a studio down the hall from my friend for another month. Can’t afford it, but am hoping more time in a professional space will be worth it. A collector may visit me, and a gallerist, and I can hardly have these people visit my garage, wading through rusted bikes and moldy couches. I need a break, like thousand upon thousands of other artists out there right now.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th

Have two writers from the East Coast visiting me, very fun women. My kind of women: one brought 9 pairs of shoes for 4 days. Shoes, meaning heels.
Tonight we’re doing Turkish BBQ: mercimek kofte, lamb kofte, shish, leeks in oil, imam beyildi (stuffed eggplant), baklava, raki, cay.
Kisses, and have a great 4th.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I am OK.

I think things will be OK. It was traumatic, but now that I’m calm, I can handle it. Isn’t that just so like life?